Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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