Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
