so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
