I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
