covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
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Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
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I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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