Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
