If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Randomize
