went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
