HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
