So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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