The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
