I'm really into asian looking animals
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well I just put wine in my tea
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
