she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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