Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
