Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize