On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you traded sex for a burrito?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How does one acquire holy water?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
