if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Houston, we have a squirter
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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