At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
