Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
