had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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