I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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