She said her name was "party"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
