his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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