oh god the rape fog is back!
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
