Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
