Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
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So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
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If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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