last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
