I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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