You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
