It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
