im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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