my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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