If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
