Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
