Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize