I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
