1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
