At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
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