you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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