I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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