I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Duck Duck Cougar?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
