i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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