just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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