Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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