I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
