How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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