Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize