States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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