So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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