When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
