The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize