There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
