So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
