That's intense
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
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they call him Oral-B. enough said
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
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Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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