I'm going to jail i love you
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
