I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
