why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
