It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
