he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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