I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
