That's when you crack a 10am beer
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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