Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
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the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
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Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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