i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
