Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
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Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
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No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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