Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
