doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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