but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I will pee on everything he values.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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