someone threw a dead crab at me
well you can't waste a boner
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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