Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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