ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
