is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
