i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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