Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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