I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
